RIP Mika.

As I type this, I cry.  I'm not ready to write about it in depth but I'm doing it anyway because he deserves it. 

On Thursday, October 18, Mika passed away.  He was 11 years old.

The morning started off fine.  He was awake when I woke up for work.  I gave him hugs, scritches (even though I knew I wasn't supposed to), and kisses before I left.  When I got home, he was gone.  I felt as if someone was stabbing me to death - and according to Rob, it's what I sounded like on the phone.  His entire office heard me screaming from the other end.  I remember crying face down on the floor.

I don't know why but as soon as it sunk it that he was truly gone I became frantic and all I kept saying - or screaming - was that I needed a vet.  I needed a vet and I needed a necropsy.  I held Mika in my hands for a little while...  I needed to hold him, kiss him, give him scritches.  I didn't get to hold him as long as I had wanted because I knew I needed to cool his body temperature.  I wrapped him up in a thin soft cloth and felt so inhumane putting him in a plastic bag in the fridge.  I know it had to be done but couldn't help but think, "Mika is my BABY.  He doesn't belong in the fucking fridge!"

Rob called my dad who came to pick me up and bring me to my parents house so that he wouldn't have to drive through even more traffic to get to me.  After calling several clinics, we were finally able to get someone to do a necropsy at my former vet.  I got the call late that night with the results.  The vet said his kidney was swollen and had acute hemorrhaging so she said she thinks Mika had a stroke.  She said all his other organs were healthy but did find something out of the ordinary.  She said the slit in his beak was wider than she's seen in any other lovebird and the papillae was much shorter.  After I had told her about Mika's compromised immune system (partly their clinics fault, I added), she said this abnormality also probably contributed to him getting infections and bacteria more often because he was breathing in much more than the regular lovebird.

I stayed awake on Thursday night, staring at Mika's empty cage.  I know it sounds rash but I had to take his things down immediately or I knew I'd get zero sleep.  I planned to dismantle on Friday.  I took everything out of his cage.  I cleaned it all out and gave it to Raptor since the bottom of his cage is rusting.  Raptor's old cage is to be sold.  I'm not trying to get rid of Mika's memory.  I don't want an empty cage sitting around.  A cage that should have my little baby in it. 

I got Mika cremated.  My dad suggested I bury him next to Kano in their backyard, but Mika belongs at home with me.  His ashes were ready to be picked up late last night (Saturday).  Two of my friends offered to go with me.  How such a fluffball could result in bones that could fit on the face of a quarter...  I guess I just didn't know what to expect.  He's in a tin the crematory gave for the time being while I wait for something else to arrive.  Something personalized.  I slept with that tin last night.  I gripped Mika in my hand and slept.  I honestly don't know how many nights I'll go like that.  During the day, I've got him tucked away in his tent where he loved to sleep.

Right now, I can go about an hour without crying.  More if I truly engross myself in TV or a movie.  I haven't been able to sleep properly and I haven't been able to keep food down.  

Part of me feels guilty.  While I wanted Mika to live as long as I do, I felt a sense of relief.  I've had to watch Mika heave violently for years.  While he never cried out in pain, I could only imagine it was painful - or at least extremely uncomfortable.  I thought, "Now he doesn't have to go through that anymore."  I hate myself for thinking that because I would give anything to have him back with me.  Rob tries to comfort me and agrees he's in a much better place now where he doesn't have to suffer.  Nonetheless, guilt is still there.

And I think of all the things I didn't get to give him.  He didn't get to have his new cage I was going to get him early next year.  He didn't get to experience the bird room I'm going to make early next year.  He didn't get to use the personalized perches I ordered for him because I was saving them for later.  So many toys I was saving for later too...  after that, I decided no more saving.  From here on out, whatever I buy Raptor will get to use.  

Not only that, Mika won't be able to be a part of my wedding.  That made me cry all over again.  Rob said he'll still be there, but it's not the same.  Mika was supposed to be by my side as we wed, as Raptor would be by Rob's side.

Mika was the perfect bird.  I could not have asked for a better baby.  He was in tune with my emotions.  He was extremely well-behaved.  He was beautiful inside and out.  I knew he was special from the moment he hatched out of his first-born egg.  He wasn't just a bird, he was my family and my son.  Rob always used to say, "Mika is the most loved bird in the whole world."  He really is/was.  I love him more than life itself.  I would have done anything for him.  Mika was PERFECTION.  My perfection is gone.

I don't know what else to write.

What a mess!!

During the summer, I wrote about how I found little pieces of balsa in Mika's cage.  After that, it didn't really happen again...  until recently!  This month I've been noticing bits of balsa every few days and I've been finding corners and edges of balsa pieces with itty bitty bite marks in them.  So cute!  He has now "damaged" three toys.  And here I thought my favorite toys were going to remain pristine as long as they were in his cage!  Well, no more!!  And I couldn't be more excited.  :)

With these balsa "mess sightings", I had never caught Mika in the act until today.  So I quickly jumped up from the bed and took a picture.  Very blurry but it's the best I could do because as soon as he saw me come to the cage he jumped to me and wouldn't leave me alone.  I tried placing him back at the toy but he was just too excited to come out.  This time around, he chewed a nice half-inch sliver out of the blue balsa block.  Good boy!!

What a mess (LOL)!!  Who is going to clean that up?!

See the chew marks in the balsa?  :D

Sorry for the blurry pic - I had to snap a pic quick!

I want to continue encouraging him to chew balsa so, even though I have a TON of other toys for him, I'm going to get him smaller toys that are primarily all balsa soon.  Things for Wings has come out with some adorable toys for the "littles" and they will soon be mine - er - I mean Mika's!  ;)  It's not like his bigger toys will go to waste...  I'm sure Raptor will have no problem destroying them. 

Happy 11th bird-day, Mika!

The light of my life is 11 today!  Time really flies...  it feels like only yesterday that he turned 10.  :(

Since I spoil the birds constantly, I chose not to get a physical wrapped gift for Mika this year.  This is partly due to the fact that both my boys have an overabundance of new toys still, so they don't need any more (nor do I have the space to store more!), and I'll be purchasing them Expandable Habitats cages for when we move to the house early next year.  

But, of course, being the kind of mommy I am I still ended up getting something - something that is on it's way and will be a combined birthday gift for both Mika and Raptor, whose birthday is on the 25th of this month.  I got this medium Java tabletop stand to go in the future master bedroom.  I really love this stand because it's got a lot of branches for perching AND it's got a nice empty space on the left to hang a small boing, or swing, from the top branch.  This will save me from hanging stuff from the master bedroom ceiling, something my bf said I could do but really doesn't want me to. ;)  Yes, I know how to compromise.  Hehe.  I'm hoping to fall in love with one or two more tabletop stands by the time I set up the bird room and then I'll be set.

We wanted to take the boys out for a nice picnic at a park for Mika's birthday today but 1. the bf came down with a high fever yesterday, 2. I'm not feeling so great, and 3. it's doom-and-gloom outside anyway.  So Mika has been having the run of the house, as usual.  I gave him his favorite sprouts (mixed with that stuff he doesn't like called fruits and veggies) and yummy Avian Organics bird bread, which he tore up.

Happy bird-day, my baby.  I love you so much and hope to celebrate many more birthdays with you.  I don't know what I'd do without you.  <3 

Oops... I've been slacking!

It's been over a month since my last post!  >_<  I do have an excuse, though...  summer ended and I went back to work during the last week of July.  And then August is a very hectic and busy time because the beginning of the school year is ALWAYS hectic and stressful.  I have been taking pics, but just posting them on Instagram (@BirdsFTW).  Once things calm down I'll post more often.

Until then, here are some pictures of the boys:

So the boys birthdays are coming up next month.  Mika will be 11 and Raptor will be four.  Normally, I'll have bought their birthday gifts months and months in advance.  This is the first time I haven't bought anything...  yet.  I guess I'm on the fence because I buy things for the boys CONSTANTLY so they're never in need (or want) of anything.  They still have tons of toys and things they've never seen yet, just stored away waiting for their turn in the cage rotation.  

Then there's the big - BIG - purchase that will be happening at the end of the year or early next year.  Part of me feels that it's such a huge purchase that it should be their birthday and Christmas gift combined.  The bf thinks it should be their birthday and Christmas gifts combined for the next 15 years.  :P  Can't blame him, though!    

It's not like I'm not going to celebrate their birthdays, because we will, but I'm feeling a little weird about not having something to GIVE them on their day.  Something that came to mind was maybe giving them the Pet Products By Nature fleece wood coin swings I was saving for next year to put in their new cages?  I got one for each of them.  Yeah...  I just may do that.

After all is said and done I guess I shouldn't stress too much over it.  After all, everyone who knows me knows the boys get new things nearly every month.  LOL 

Mika's new friend.

On Friday, we added to our flock.  We added a couple of birds, a lovebird and owl, that don't make any noise, mess, or require any food or care.  ;)  Close to being ideal companions, though I prefer my live ones hands down!  Hehe.

I thought it would be extremely cute to get pictures of Mika with the mango lovebird figurine and Raptor with the coconut owl figurine.  Unfortunately I wasn't able to get pictures of Raptor with the figurine at all!  He kept flying away in fear and I didn't want to push it.  So no cute pics of Rappy.  Mika was a little better.  He was very weary of this new birdy, biting it's toes (LOL), but he stayed around long enough for me to get a couple of good pictures.

These pictures are so cute it makes you want to punch kittens. LOL

 

Surprise!!

I had received a package from Things for Wings a week ago.  I had bought another fantastic willow coin swing (thanks to Danita's generosity in letting the swing go!), so I could have one for each of my boys.  When I opened the box, I found a surprise in there!  There was a bag full of beautiful toys, along with a cryptic note from the gifter.  Come to find out, the gift was from Peggy (Sadieladie1994 on Avian Avenue).  It was a totally unexpected gift and so sweet of her!  

At the time, I had to thank Peggy in private because Danita wanted to hold a guessing game as to what theme her new toy collection is, and the toys I received were part of that new collection.  Now that the guessing game is over, she said I can post the pics of these super cute "Island Hopping" toys!  :D  I'm not sure what these toys are named, but they should all be named "Fun & Fabulous"!  Hehe.

The toys are so cute I really didn't want to give it to the birds, but I caved in and gave them ONE. LOL  I put the toy on the Java tree in the living room and shoved Nutriberries into the wicker ball to entice them.  I let Raptor go at it first.  He immediately started shredding feverishly to get to the treats.  He also took a few chunks out of the balsa blocks.  When he was done, there was about half the wicker ball left - ideal for my non-chewer/forager, Mika.  I put more Nutriberries in the half-destroyed wicker ball and Mika went to town!  I was quite surprised!  

This toy was a HUGE success!  As of today, there is nothing left of the toy except for a little bit of wicker and raffia.  Raptor has destroyed the rest of the balsa and yucca pieces.  Thank you, Peggy, for such a generous gift and thank you, Danita, for always coming out with adorable new toy collections!!  :)

Watermelon!

I love watermelon.  I've loved it since I was a little girl that would eat it all the way through to the rind so that there was only greenish white left.  Now that I'm grown, I don't go as far as to eat all the way down to the rind but I still can eat it every single day.  If allowed, I can go through a watermelon in a day.  I am currently on my fourth, and largest, watermelon in a week and a half's span! LOL  Anyway, my friend, Natacha, wanted to know just how big this HUGE watermelon is and suggested I take pictures with my birds on them for size reference.  

Both my camera and cell phone camera weren't on my side today.  Probably my fault for choosing the couch which reflected so much light.  The cameras kept focusing on the watermelon rather than the birds.  My fault for STILL not having read the manual to my camera.  None of the pictures came out well.  :(  Oh well.  These are the best two shots I got.  

Mika weighs 45g and Raptor weighs 110g.  The watermelon is 35lbs, measuring 20" in length and 9" in diameter.  O_O

Monumentous!

See this face here?  This little one did something yesterday or the day before that STILL has me speechless!!

I normally change Mika's (and Raptor's) cage liner every day or every other day.  His liner is never really dirty because he's not a messy eater, his poops are small, and he never chews any of his toys up except the occasional fingertrap and wicker part (and even those times are rare).  So when I woke up this morning to change liners I was in shock of what I saw down there.  

BALSA PIECES.

A small amount of shredded balsa was sitting on top of the newspaper.  At first I thought, "How did Raptor's shredding get into Mika's cage?!"  There was no way the wind could have blown it in there because the wind blows from Mika's cage to Raptor's.  So I looked at the toys Mika had in his cage.  He has the Things for Wings pine Palm Tree - no balsa on there.  He has the T4W Solo - no balsa on there.  He has the T4W Going to Market - no balsa on there.  Looked in his foot toy bowl - no balsa in there.  I stood back for a second and didn't understand... until I saw the open door staring me in the face.  The stainless steel Activity Bolt!!  It has two slim pieces of balsa on it!!  Sure enough, on the first slab, I saw the cutest little chew marks I've ever seen!  <3

Either yesterday or the day before, my almost 11 year old boy has chewed his FIRST piece of WOOD!!  I am so extremely proud of him!!  Now I need to see if I even have any more of these small slim balsa pieces left so I can continue to encourage him to chew.  I may be out, since Raptor really likes balsa... but I never mind making orders with T4W.  ;) 

Danita's balsa works miracles - first Raptor, now Mika!!

Wet birdies!

This afternoon I showered with Raptor, then Mika.  Since I was going to have both birds wet, I figured it'd be a great time to take wet bird pics!  Well, that didn't completely work out according to plan.  I put Raptor on the playgym in the office for less than FIVE minutes while I finished my shower with Mika and by the time we came out Raptor was almost completely dry!  >_<  The only wet part left was his head and back of his neck.  Mika, though, is still wet as I type.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised...  whenever Mika bathes, he gets SOAKED.  He'll get soaked all the way down to his skin, and he'll stay wet for quite a while as he dries off.  Maybe it's because Mika's feathers are just so incredibly soft and floofy?  Raptor, on the other hand, has an oily sheen to his wings and tail feathers.  Whenever he bathes, his face and tummy will get wet but water just beads right off of his wings/tail.

Anyway, the wet bird pics of Mika came out really well - he looks like a punk rocker with his head feathers sticking up!  Hehehe!

With Raptor's wet bird pics, you can see that it's mainly his head that is still wet.  I had a REALLY hard time getting good pictures because he kept moving back and forth all over the tree, rubbing his beak all over the place.  Such a bummer because I had him in the water for a good 10 minutes!

Pics from the day before.

I had other things going on so I didn't get to post these pictures the same day I took them. 

Every time I wash the dishes, I have to put Mika away (and Raptor if the bf isn't home to watch him) because he will get all up in my business, trying to bathe in the running water.  With all the suds flying around, I'm not willing to risk anything so he and Raptor had to occupy themselves in their cages while I got my cleaning on!

I'm so cute!

Looking up at mommy.

Look at that face! *melt*

Time for a nap (see him gripping the left chain).

One of my favorite hang out spots.

Wanna play a game, mommy?

It's called hide-and-seek.  Now count to 10.

She'll never find me behind this toy...

Rats!  She found me!

You're not as bad at this game as I thought you'd be.  :P

BIRDYlicious Creations review.

I put the BIRDYlicious Creations new toys I got for Mika in his cage this past weekend.  He has taken a liking to the Big Squeak and Chime N' Tug, most likely because they both have long chains and bells, which he really likes, and they are strategically placed in spots he likes to hang out.  I often hear him shoving and clanging the bells on the Big Squeak and I always find him napping between the chains of the Chime N' Tug (just like he does with his Grey Feather Toys Groovaliscious).

I also saw him shove the Pond Life, placed by his water dish, for the first time yesterday but by the time I grabbed my phone to take a picture he had moved away.  I haven't seen him go to the Garden Cup, which is placed by his boing, yet but I'm sure he'll shove it eventually.  Hehe.  I am very happy with the purchase and it's pretty safe to say Mika is too!  :D

Big Squeak

"You can't see me..."

Chime N' Tug

Summer break = heaving Mika.

This is a long post...  beware.  :P

Summer has officially started for me and I will be home for two months!  This is the time I look forward to every year!!  I truly am a homebody (much to my bf's chagrin LOL) and love nothing more than to be home all day with my babies.  Unfortunately, this is also the time of year that Mika's violent heaving goes into full force.  Even with controlling the amount of affection we show him, the mere fact that I am present 24/7 for an extended period of time is enough to kick it into high gear.

For those that don't know, Mika has a couple of issues - a compromised immune system, no thanks to former vets, and "hormonal overload".  The compromised immune system is due to Mika having been on different broad-spectrum antibiotics for a WHOLE YEAR.  Why a whole year?  Because one Exotics vet, and then an Avian vet, could not figure out why Mika was continually heaving.  And... stupid me...  I put my trust in these vets so I never questioned them.  

I remember that the heaving started while Kano (RIP) was still alive.  Kano was my rescue Creamino lovebird.  It began soon after I started my current job four years ago, a job that allowed me to be home more often.  I worked one hour less per day and had Fall/Winter/Spring/Summer break off.  I, along with the previous vets, didn't imagine that it could be hormonal because he doesn't heave like he's regurgitating to feed me.  I know what "I love you" or "let me feed you" regurgitation looks like.  No.  What Mika does is whole body, violent/spasm-like, painful-looking heaving.  

It wasn't until my current bf came along that, with the help of a very knowledgeable lovebird expert in Florida and some online research, he figured out what was wrong with him - hormonal overload, so to speak.  Mika is SO bonded to me that he can't control his heaving. 

Unfortunately, by the time it was all figured out, Mika's yearly gram stains/C&S's ALWAYS show something.  While he was completely fine prior to this, he has never had a clear gram stain since being on antibiotics for a whole year.  We are somewhat anal people that keep a clean, but not sterile, home.  Clean food, clean water, liners changed daily...  yet, somehow, every single year - or sometimes more than once a year - he gets SOMETHING while Raptor remains healthy.  My current Avian vet said there is no scientific evidence that being on continual antibiotics damages your immune system, but there is a REASON human doctors try to avoid us on back-to-back antibiotics ourselves.  We don't need Ph.D.'s to put two and two together.  The lovebird expert in Florida, along with other experienced lovebird owners on a forum, was extremely surprised Mika survived having had that much antibiotics in a year.

We have tried rounds of Lupron shots two years in a row to try to lessen his hormones.  The first year, it lessened a little but it made no difference the second year.  In the end, the only thing we can do to help lessen it is by not touching him AT ALL.  No scritches (I was never one to give full body rubs/scritches ever, just the head, so it's not like he was getting riled up that way), no beak rubs, no letting him nap cuddled up under our chins or in the crook of our elbows, nothing.   When we follow that strict regiment during our normal work schedule, his violent heaving tapers.  It never completely stops, but at least he's able to maintain his weight and I don't have to watch him day in and day out looking like he's in pain.  He doesn't cry out so I don't THINK he's in pain, but it just looks painful and I end up crying half the time.

Anyway, it really is hard for us to follow that strict regiment every single day.  Mika is my boy.  We have shared over 10 years together.  He is the love of my life.  How can I not give him a little scritch on the head here and there or let him sleep against my skin because he's already squatted and dozing off?  Both my bf and I fall off the wagon sometimes.  The bf more than myself... and, if it was too much, we'll see the resulting heaving for days after.  Mika so desperately wants our affections so I always have mixed feelings about giving in.  I want him to know he's loved but I don't want him heaving.

Now that summer is here again, even if I don't touch him at all the whole two months, he will heave.  I will be doing my best to follow the illusion of having my work schedule, allowing Mika to be out and about in the bedroom but with the door closed so he can't see me until the time I usually come home from work.  We'll see if that helps at all.  

I've had numerous people ask, "Why don't you just get him a mate?"  My bf, my vet, and I wholeheartedly agree that a mate would do nothing for Mika.  Mika is a true "human" bird.  No matter what other lovebird comes along, he still always chooses me before being with another bird period.  Even when Kano was here, he unfortunately played second fiddle to me.  We've tried to shack Mika up with a couple of females in the past and he still always chose me.  I am his chosen one.  So, no, a mate is not the answer for him.

While Mika's situation can be a burden, both emotionally and financially, I would not trade him for the world.  He is my perfect little boy.  Look at him.  Would YOU be able to resist cuddling this ball of fluff my bf says "is softer than air"???