RIP Mika.

As I type this, I cry.  I'm not ready to write about it in depth but I'm doing it anyway because he deserves it. 

On Thursday, October 18, Mika passed away.  He was 11 years old.

The morning started off fine.  He was awake when I woke up for work.  I gave him hugs, scritches (even though I knew I wasn't supposed to), and kisses before I left.  When I got home, he was gone.  I felt as if someone was stabbing me to death - and according to Rob, it's what I sounded like on the phone.  His entire office heard me screaming from the other end.  I remember crying face down on the floor.

I don't know why but as soon as it sunk it that he was truly gone I became frantic and all I kept saying - or screaming - was that I needed a vet.  I needed a vet and I needed a necropsy.  I held Mika in my hands for a little while...  I needed to hold him, kiss him, give him scritches.  I didn't get to hold him as long as I had wanted because I knew I needed to cool his body temperature.  I wrapped him up in a thin soft cloth and felt so inhumane putting him in a plastic bag in the fridge.  I know it had to be done but couldn't help but think, "Mika is my BABY.  He doesn't belong in the fucking fridge!"

Rob called my dad who came to pick me up and bring me to my parents house so that he wouldn't have to drive through even more traffic to get to me.  After calling several clinics, we were finally able to get someone to do a necropsy at my former vet.  I got the call late that night with the results.  The vet said his kidney was swollen and had acute hemorrhaging so she said she thinks Mika had a stroke.  She said all his other organs were healthy but did find something out of the ordinary.  She said the slit in his beak was wider than she's seen in any other lovebird and the papillae was much shorter.  After I had told her about Mika's compromised immune system (partly their clinics fault, I added), she said this abnormality also probably contributed to him getting infections and bacteria more often because he was breathing in much more than the regular lovebird.

I stayed awake on Thursday night, staring at Mika's empty cage.  I know it sounds rash but I had to take his things down immediately or I knew I'd get zero sleep.  I planned to dismantle on Friday.  I took everything out of his cage.  I cleaned it all out and gave it to Raptor since the bottom of his cage is rusting.  Raptor's old cage is to be sold.  I'm not trying to get rid of Mika's memory.  I don't want an empty cage sitting around.  A cage that should have my little baby in it. 

I got Mika cremated.  My dad suggested I bury him next to Kano in their backyard, but Mika belongs at home with me.  His ashes were ready to be picked up late last night (Saturday).  Two of my friends offered to go with me.  How such a fluffball could result in bones that could fit on the face of a quarter...  I guess I just didn't know what to expect.  He's in a tin the crematory gave for the time being while I wait for something else to arrive.  Something personalized.  I slept with that tin last night.  I gripped Mika in my hand and slept.  I honestly don't know how many nights I'll go like that.  During the day, I've got him tucked away in his tent where he loved to sleep.

Right now, I can go about an hour without crying.  More if I truly engross myself in TV or a movie.  I haven't been able to sleep properly and I haven't been able to keep food down.  

Part of me feels guilty.  While I wanted Mika to live as long as I do, I felt a sense of relief.  I've had to watch Mika heave violently for years.  While he never cried out in pain, I could only imagine it was painful - or at least extremely uncomfortable.  I thought, "Now he doesn't have to go through that anymore."  I hate myself for thinking that because I would give anything to have him back with me.  Rob tries to comfort me and agrees he's in a much better place now where he doesn't have to suffer.  Nonetheless, guilt is still there.

And I think of all the things I didn't get to give him.  He didn't get to have his new cage I was going to get him early next year.  He didn't get to experience the bird room I'm going to make early next year.  He didn't get to use the personalized perches I ordered for him because I was saving them for later.  So many toys I was saving for later too...  after that, I decided no more saving.  From here on out, whatever I buy Raptor will get to use.  

Not only that, Mika won't be able to be a part of my wedding.  That made me cry all over again.  Rob said he'll still be there, but it's not the same.  Mika was supposed to be by my side as we wed, as Raptor would be by Rob's side.

Mika was the perfect bird.  I could not have asked for a better baby.  He was in tune with my emotions.  He was extremely well-behaved.  He was beautiful inside and out.  I knew he was special from the moment he hatched out of his first-born egg.  He wasn't just a bird, he was my family and my son.  Rob always used to say, "Mika is the most loved bird in the whole world."  He really is/was.  I love him more than life itself.  I would have done anything for him.  Mika was PERFECTION.  My perfection is gone.

I don't know what else to write.

Happy 4th bird-day, Rappy!

Today is Raptor's 4th birthday!!  As with Mika's birthday earlier this month, there wasn't a huge celebration (since every day is their birthday in this house).  We showered Rappy with a lot of attention and all his favorite treats.  I even gave him an extra organic almond, since he loves those SO much! I tried getting more pictures of him but he is so much harder to photograph than Mika.  Raptor rarely stays still for photos.  This was the best birthday shot I could get - the rest were blurry or his face was away from the camera.  >_<

What a great birthday surprise that the medium Java stand I ordered from My Safe Bird Store as Mika and Raptor's combination birthday gift arrived TODAY rather than the 22nd like scheduled.  As usual, there was a bag of TREATS for the hoomans of the house from Kathie (thank you for feeding my fat!! LOL).  We really don't have room for another playgym where we are right now so I have it tucked away in my old bedroom at my parents house until we get to the house early next year.  ;)  

I also ordered a medium ScooterZ tent for him in a pretty shade of green.  Mika absolutely loves sleep tents but Raptor has always been weary of big fabric things and preferred to sleep on a platform perch.  I thought I'd give it another go and try a tent again just because.  I really would love for him to tuck himself into a tent to sleep.  Mika is always so warm and cozy in his.  I want Rappy to be warm and cozy at sleep time too!

Happy birthday, our stubborn, bitey, aggressive, bundle of fierceness!  Mommy loves you very much...  even though you just tolerate me.  ;)

What a mess!!

During the summer, I wrote about how I found little pieces of balsa in Mika's cage.  After that, it didn't really happen again...  until recently!  This month I've been noticing bits of balsa every few days and I've been finding corners and edges of balsa pieces with itty bitty bite marks in them.  So cute!  He has now "damaged" three toys.  And here I thought my favorite toys were going to remain pristine as long as they were in his cage!  Well, no more!!  And I couldn't be more excited.  :)

With these balsa "mess sightings", I had never caught Mika in the act until today.  So I quickly jumped up from the bed and took a picture.  Very blurry but it's the best I could do because as soon as he saw me come to the cage he jumped to me and wouldn't leave me alone.  I tried placing him back at the toy but he was just too excited to come out.  This time around, he chewed a nice half-inch sliver out of the blue balsa block.  Good boy!!

What a mess (LOL)!!  Who is going to clean that up?!

See the chew marks in the balsa?  :D

Sorry for the blurry pic - I had to snap a pic quick!

I want to continue encouraging him to chew balsa so, even though I have a TON of other toys for him, I'm going to get him smaller toys that are primarily all balsa soon.  Things for Wings has come out with some adorable toys for the "littles" and they will soon be mine - er - I mean Mika's!  ;)  It's not like his bigger toys will go to waste...  I'm sure Raptor will have no problem destroying them. 

Happy 11th bird-day, Mika!

The light of my life is 11 today!  Time really flies...  it feels like only yesterday that he turned 10.  :(

Since I spoil the birds constantly, I chose not to get a physical wrapped gift for Mika this year.  This is partly due to the fact that both my boys have an overabundance of new toys still, so they don't need any more (nor do I have the space to store more!), and I'll be purchasing them Expandable Habitats cages for when we move to the house early next year.  

But, of course, being the kind of mommy I am I still ended up getting something - something that is on it's way and will be a combined birthday gift for both Mika and Raptor, whose birthday is on the 25th of this month.  I got this medium Java tabletop stand to go in the future master bedroom.  I really love this stand because it's got a lot of branches for perching AND it's got a nice empty space on the left to hang a small boing, or swing, from the top branch.  This will save me from hanging stuff from the master bedroom ceiling, something my bf said I could do but really doesn't want me to. ;)  Yes, I know how to compromise.  Hehe.  I'm hoping to fall in love with one or two more tabletop stands by the time I set up the bird room and then I'll be set.

We wanted to take the boys out for a nice picnic at a park for Mika's birthday today but 1. the bf came down with a high fever yesterday, 2. I'm not feeling so great, and 3. it's doom-and-gloom outside anyway.  So Mika has been having the run of the house, as usual.  I gave him his favorite sprouts (mixed with that stuff he doesn't like called fruits and veggies) and yummy Avian Organics bird bread, which he tore up.

Happy bird-day, my baby.  I love you so much and hope to celebrate many more birthdays with you.  I don't know what I'd do without you.  <3 

Oops... I've been slacking!

It's been over a month since my last post!  >_<  I do have an excuse, though...  summer ended and I went back to work during the last week of July.  And then August is a very hectic and busy time because the beginning of the school year is ALWAYS hectic and stressful.  I have been taking pics, but just posting them on Instagram (@BirdsFTW).  Once things calm down I'll post more often.

Until then, here are some pictures of the boys:

So the boys birthdays are coming up next month.  Mika will be 11 and Raptor will be four.  Normally, I'll have bought their birthday gifts months and months in advance.  This is the first time I haven't bought anything...  yet.  I guess I'm on the fence because I buy things for the boys CONSTANTLY so they're never in need (or want) of anything.  They still have tons of toys and things they've never seen yet, just stored away waiting for their turn in the cage rotation.  

Then there's the big - BIG - purchase that will be happening at the end of the year or early next year.  Part of me feels that it's such a huge purchase that it should be their birthday and Christmas gift combined.  The bf thinks it should be their birthday and Christmas gifts combined for the next 15 years.  :P  Can't blame him, though!    

It's not like I'm not going to celebrate their birthdays, because we will, but I'm feeling a little weird about not having something to GIVE them on their day.  Something that came to mind was maybe giving them the Pet Products By Nature fleece wood coin swings I was saving for next year to put in their new cages?  I got one for each of them.  Yeah...  I just may do that.

After all is said and done I guess I shouldn't stress too much over it.  After all, everyone who knows me knows the boys get new things nearly every month.  LOL 

Another small order.

After a VERY long training the first day back at work (and spending over an hour in traffic going home), I came home to a package!  Yay!  It was my small order from My Safe Bird Store.  

I picked up some more ElectroVites and Avi-Immune for Mika, and added the Milk Thistle/Dandelion Herbal Extract to try out.  The milk thistle and dandelion root is to help detoxify the liver if your bird has fatty liver disease (from a seed-based diet) or liver damage from aflatoxins.  While I don't think my birds have either, I don't know the diet Raptor was on prior to his previous home and Mika was on a seed-based diet in his early years (back when parrot forums didn't really exist and I just listened to breeders and read outdated books).  

Even with healthy livers, it isn't harmful to give so I just wanted to try it since I'm really liking the other Herbal Extracts (Immunity Booster, Pau D'Arco, Relaxation/Calming) I had bought before.  I also picked up a pack of stainless steel quick links.  I always hate making such a small order because I like to make the most of the shipping, but I wasn't in need of anything else.  

As usual, Kathie and Kara included a goody bag gift of candies and foot toys.  This time, they added wicker ball lollipops - they are SO cute!  :D  Thank you, guys!!

Mika's new friend.

On Friday, we added to our flock.  We added a couple of birds, a lovebird and owl, that don't make any noise, mess, or require any food or care.  ;)  Close to being ideal companions, though I prefer my live ones hands down!  Hehe.

I thought it would be extremely cute to get pictures of Mika with the mango lovebird figurine and Raptor with the coconut owl figurine.  Unfortunately I wasn't able to get pictures of Raptor with the figurine at all!  He kept flying away in fear and I didn't want to push it.  So no cute pics of Rappy.  Mika was a little better.  He was very weary of this new birdy, biting it's toes (LOL), but he stayed around long enough for me to get a couple of good pictures.

These pictures are so cute it makes you want to punch kittens. LOL